none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
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