North Korea, Best Korea!
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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