distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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