this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
