I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
she told me i tasted like america
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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