I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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