Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I don't deserve a penis
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
