i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize
