Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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