He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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