If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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