new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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