peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
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That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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