Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
