He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Randomize
