Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
