and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Randomize
