Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Blow job season was short but glorious.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
