He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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