dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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