his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
