I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
My ass is underappreciated
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
