My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
