i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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