there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
