ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
