if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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