Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
