So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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