When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
