Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Randomize
