You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
