You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
