uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
