May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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