Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
