I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Randomize
