I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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