Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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