with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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