bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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