Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
