Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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