Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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