I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
How's work?
Spinning.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
