am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
