Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize