Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
tell me about the fingering
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