the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
