So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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