Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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