All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
